Do you ever see dreams which just get stuck on your mind? You start to think those over and over again trying to understand them and the reasons you saw them.. You ask yourself was this "just a dream" or has it got a deeply meaning or purpose.. I believe that dreams are doorways to our subconscious which we know very little about.
There's different kind of dreams but I'm more interested about nightmares.. Everyone knows that some dreams are impossible to explain.. There can be something what you can't describe as a figure but you know it is there, you saw it in your mind.. I've got this one dream I kept seeing when I was younger.. There's something moving faster and slower and moving further away and coming closer again and there's different obstacles on the way. To me it's a nightmare, it's so oppressive and unpredictable. A bit scary at times.. I didn't see the dream for years, but couple of months ago when I woke up, got this really weird feeling when realizing it was the exact same dream I used to see.. Why did it come back? I don't know but it's fascinating that it did.
I've had some really wild dream experiences.. When I was younger I used to sleepwalk.. It didn't happen that much at home but there's couple of weird occassions from my grandparents old house.. They used to live in this huge house what used to be school back in the old days.. There were three floors and this one time we were visiting there with my brother we all slept in the upper floor.. My and my brothers bed were attached next to the wall.. I just remember seeing a nightmare something was chasing me and then I wake up when my grandfather is shaking my hand under the bed trying to wake me up.. He said that all of the sudden I stoop up from my bed, walked beside my brother and started to scream and move my arms like trying to protect myself for something, and then I crawled under my brothers bed..The feeling when you wake up from a deep sleep in strange place someone telling that you were standing up and shouting is quite scary.
The other time is really strange. We all slept on the middlefloor. My grandmother always wakes up early so she found me laying on the floor on the middle of the big class room with my blanket.. She woke me up and I walked back to bed.. When I woke up again and we had breakfast I didn't remember anything, not even seeing dreams or the fact that she woke me up and I walked back to bed... Back home in my old room I've woken up for example under the table or in front of my closet with mirrordoors..
I have experienced nightmares where I'm aware the fact that it's a dream and I need to wake up by hitting my head to something.. There has been more than couple of times where I've actually woken up with the same thing on my hand I hit my head on my dream... I've been suffering sleep paralysis quite alot.."Sleep paralysis is a phenomenon in which people, either when falling asleep or wakening, temporarily experience an inability to move. More formally, it is a transition state between wakefulness and rest characterized by complete muscle atonia (muscle weakness). It can occur at sleep onset or upon awakening, and it is often associated with terrifying visions (e.g. an intruder in the room), to which one is unable to react due to paralysis. It is believed a result of disrupted REM sleep, which is normally characterized by complete muscle atonia that prevents individuals from acting out their dreams. Sleep paralysis has been linked to disorders such as nascolepsy, migraines, anxiety disorders and obstructive sleep apnea; however, it can also occur in isolation. When linked to another disorder, sleep paralysis commonly occurs in association with the neuromuscular disorder narcolepsy".
So basicly you can see everything around you, you are awake but you cant move a muscle.. And often you see or feel someone or something bad is getting closer to you and you can't do anything.. Have you ever seen dreams where you feel you're leaving your body and returning it? There has been couple of times where I've been floating around and then started to fall slowly back to my body and I've waken up the minute im "in me" feeling all warm.. It's something that's really hard to describe if you haven't experienced it.. Last night I saw two different nightmares, the first one I don't really remember clearly, just that it had to do something about cave diving and losing everyone.. The second dream has been on my mind the whole day.. Like I said it is really hard to describe dreams but there was me my friends and my family.. On that dream I felt really bad distressed and scary. I commited a suicide by driving to a brickwall by car, I started to float away from my body and everything and I realized that I don't wanna do this I wanna go back but it was too late.. I woke up when I was that far away from everything I couldn't see anything... THATS IS SOME FUCKED UP SHIT.. When I woke up it took couple of minutes to think that whhat the hell is happening :DDd
You can say I'm spiritual person, I'm interested about selfawarness subconscious and everything what includes your mind. I don't believe in God, I don't know what is it I believe in, hopefully going to find out someday... I read somewhere that one of the meaning of my name Nadja is "The one who recieved the call of God"
That's all for now. Peace & Love
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